22 Signs She’s Into You on a First Date | Introverted Alpha (2023)

“I have a date tonight. How can I tell if she likes me?”

Imagine the moments right before a first date.

You’re showered, dressed, and polished up.

You’ve got your nicest shoes on, your clothes are neatly pressed, and even your hair is cooperating.

There’s just one last thing to do before you head out the door for your date: prep your mindset.

Go into your date with today’s list freshly in mind so you can pick up on the signs she’s into you and plan your moves accordingly.

If you’ve Googled lists like this before, don’t worry. We’ll go much deeper than the standard…

  • lip biting,
  • hair twirling, and
  • giggling

… that you’ll find in most articles. (Though we cover those too!)

By the end of your date, you should not only be able to tell if she likes you, but also if there’s potential for a deep connection between you.

So let’s get started!

Why is it important to recognize the major signs she’s into you?

If you were to go on a date and have no idea what your date was thinking or feeling, it would be impossible to…

  • flirt,
  • build tension, or
  • escalate to the next level.

Understanding if your date is having a good time, as it’s happening, is a pretty vital dating skill to learn. It enables you to react appropriately regardless of whether she is throwing out red lights or green lights.

Plus, if things are going well, that can be a serious confidence boost in the moment.

When the good vibes flow freely, you both can relax and enjoy each others’ company. Which, of course, makes it even more likely that the date will continue to go well!

That confidence boost might make a surprisingly huge difference if you’re the type of man that feels first-date nerves. Download this free ebook for even more ways to access your inner confidence. >> Get it here! <<

Now, let’s get to the list and discover signs a girl likes you.

(Video) Is She Into You? (11 Definite Signs!)

1. She initiates eye contact

Eye contact can be hard to maintain with people you’ve just met. If your date makes the effort to catch your eye on a regular basis, that’s a huge positive mark in your favor.

2. She seems happy

There’s no “RBF” to be found on your date’s face. She’s happy and smiling by default, and you can tell the smile is genuine because it reaches her eyes.

Better yet, laughing at your jokes and giggling both indicate that she’s in a great mood and she wants you to know it.

3. She’s biting her lip

Hey, we said we’d cover the obvious ones too!

Purposeful lip biting (especially while maintaining eye contact) signals that she is most definitely picking up what you’re laying down.

Unlike some of the more unconscious reactions (like smiling), lip biting is almost always a conscious and flirty move.

4. She touches or twirls her hair

This is another one of the “classic” signs she’s into you, and it’s classic for a reason.

When a woman is twirling or playing with her hair on a date, it often means she’s either trying to rearrange it so she looks better (a good sign) or actively flirting with you (even better).

5. She gets up close

On a first date, the two of you probably won’t make a lot of physical contact. However, her posture can tell you if she’s thinking about it.

She might lean in as you’re speaking, stand close to you as you wait in line, or tilt her head your way as you’re sitting side by side.

6. She touches you

Though you probably shouldn’t expect anything beyond platonic touches, pay close attention if your date initiates any kind of physical contact.

Even a light touch on the hand or a brush of her knee against yours could very well be intentional and a sign of attraction.

7. She seems relaxed and comfortable

Have you ever met someone you easily clicked with right off the bat?

Chances are, you instantly felt some level of comfort with each other because you recognized you’re on the same page together.

If you and your date relax around each other and start showing authentically vulnerable sides of yourselves, that’s an incredible thing.

It often means that you both intuitively know you’re a good match, even if your logical brains haven’t caught up yet.

8. Or, she might seem a little shy, nervous, or self-conscious

This can be a negative sign, indicating that she doesn’t feel comfortable.

(Video) 8 Signs she's secretly crushing on you

However, some people tend to show some nerves on a first date, and that’s okay! It could mean she finds you extra attractive and she’s feeling intimidated.

You’ll have to use your gut on this one. If it happens in combination with a few other common signs she’s into you, you can take a little sign of shyness as a positive.

9. You are at the center of her attention

It’s human nature that when you’re on a date that isn’t holding your interest, it can be tempting to let your eyes and your mind wander.

You look around at the surrounding environment, you “people watch,” or you have the urge to glance quickly at your phone.

If your date does none of those things, chances are it’s because she’s engrossed in the date with you.

10. She wants to hear what you have to say

If she listens intently, asks relevant questions, and commits your answers to memory (you’ll recognize it when she brings something up later), that’s a great sign that she wants to get to know you further.

11. She actively engages in the conversation

Similarly, if your date talks animatedly during her share of the conversation and happily goes into depth when you ask her questions, it shows that she wants you to know her as well.

Importantly, #10 and #11 should happen together. When you have a good mix where both of you ask questions, volunteer information, and listen attentively, the conversation will feel natural and pleasant for both of you.

12. Speaking of questions…

There’s a huge difference between a woman asking “What did you do last weekend?” versus “What are you doing next weekend?” She may subtly probe around to see if you’ll ask her out again.

Questions also provide a great way to gauge whether she thinks of you as a serious potential partner.

If she sticks to the shallow end, you might not be able to glean much information on her intentions.

However, deeper and more value-oriented questions (“Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “Are you open to the idea of kids someday?”) are a dead giveaway that she’s sizing up your compatibility.

13. She points out things you have in common

Even if the comparisons are about small things, like…

“Oh, I went to college there too!”

… the common ground can still build a sense of bonding.

You get bonus points if she starts comparing larger life values, such as…

“I completely agree; I would love to raise a family and live in the mountains someday.”

(Video) If you see these signs, stop pursuing her immediately

Some people do indeed bring up these topics on a first date if they feel there could be serious potential. So pay attention if it suddenly feels like you both have everything in common. There’s a good chance she’s pointing out these similarities intentionally!

14. Your date lasts longer than you had planned

You set up a fifteen minute coffee date, and two hours later you’re still happily hanging out together. Time flies, but neither of you makes any moves to leave.

Can you say “instant connection”? ;)

15. You find the “flow”

You’ve lost track of time, moved seamlessly from grabbing a coffee into strolling around the mall, and now you’re headed to dinner.

No matter what activity comes up as a suggestion, the other seems to be up for it. The date flows by almost effortlessly.

This is one of those definite signs she’s into you, but it’s absolutely not a mandatory one. Don’t worry if this doesn’t happen; it’s a lot to ask for on a first date!

16. You notice you’re mirroring each other

When two people are in sync, they tend to “mirror” each other and temporarily adopt the same postures and mannerisms.

If you’ve noticed a few times that you’re both relaxed with one leg crossed over the other, or you’re both leaning forward with your chin in your hand, or you’re both doing something in the exact same way, that’s a clear indication you’re on the same wavelength even down to a subconscious level.

17. You lightheartedly tease each other

If you feel comfortable enough to toss in a playful verbal jab every once in a while, and she laughs and responds in kind, you can take that as confirmation that you have clicked.

It’s not just that playful teasing is a form of flirting (which it totally is!), but that the vibe between you feels so comfortable and natural that you’re freed up to exchange some witty banter.

18. She volunteers some personal information about herself

You’ve gotten past the surface-level talk, and now you feel the atmosphere changing.

Your date begins to share something personal about herself. It could be a childhood story about losing a loved dog, a secret dream to one day own her own company, or anything else that opens some real, authentic place inside her heart.

Tread carefully; this vulnerability is not only one of the stronger signs she’s into you, it’s also a sign of true intimacy developing.

19. Similarly, you might find yourself opening up unexpectedly

You probably didn’t go into this date with a plan of spilling all of your hopes and dreams, but your date has something about her that makes you feel so comfortable and accepted that you can’t help sharing.

She smiles warmly, empathizes with you, and somehow makes you feel safe to tell her anything.

That kind of connection doesn’t tend to happen when attraction is one-sided, so this is one of the more concrete (but subtle!) signs she’s into you on a deeper level.

20. At the end of the date, she goes in for a hug

When was the last time you felt like hugging a near-stranger who you weren’t attracted to?


Exactly. Never.

If your date goes in for a hug, she’s rolling out the welcome mat for you to step into her proximity bubble.

21. There’s an awkward, lingering moment…

This one is purely for bonus points.

The date went well (or at least, you suspect it did), she went in for a hug, and now it’s time to leave.

Or is it?

What is she waiting for?

She’s just standing there, lingering awkwardly.

Did the temperature just rise, like, ten degrees?

While the first date may not always be safe territory to move in for a first kiss, that lingering moment is proof positive that you’re both thinking about it.


22. She asks you out on a second date

If you’re thinking, “Well, duh!” then you’d be correct.

There’s really no more obvious of the signs she’s into you than her saying out loud that she’d love to see you again. This is her openly telling you that she wants to spend time with you, which means… she likes you!

Conclusion on how to read 22 signs she’s into you on a first date:

22 Signs She’s Into You on a First Date | Introverted Alpha (1)For some of the above, you’ll need to pay close attention. Others will jump out at you like a bright neon sign screaming “She’s totally interested!”

With practice, you can hone your intuition and pick up on even the subtlest signs a woman is interested in you, like when she’s…

  • leaning toward you slightly,
  • catching your eye on purpose, or
  • lingering awkwardly at the end of the date, waiting for something to happen. ;)

Check out these free videos to learn more about common signs a girl is into you:

In order for any of this information to be relevant, you’ll need to be comfortable with asking women on dates in the first place. Download our free ebook, to brush up on some vital dating skills

(Video) 11 Obvious Signs a Girl Doesn't Like You - How to Tell if She is Not Interested in You

Or, if you’ve found yourself in a tricky situation and you could use some customized advice from dating and relationship experts, join our Launch Your Dating Life program and get the one-on-one help you need! Apply here for a private phone call where we can determine if the program is a good fit for you.


How do you tell if a girl likes you after the first date? ›

15 Signs a Girl Likes You
  1. She reschedules a date she can't make. ...
  2. She makes an effort to continue the conversation. ...
  3. She compliments you and tries to make you feel good. ...
  4. She's clearly nervous around you. ...
  5. Her body language is inviting. ...
  6. She remembers things you tell her. ...
  7. You catch her staring at you on multiple occasions.
Jan 19, 2023

How do you know if there is chemistry on a first date? ›

8 Promising Signs Of Chemistry On A First Date
  1. Your Sense Of Humor Jives. ...
  2. You Can Sense Your Date's Perspective. ...
  3. Your Touches Match. ...
  4. You Want To Be Snuggly. ...
  5. Your Date Senses If Something Upsets You. ...
  6. Your Conversations Flow. ...
  7. Your Boundaries And Rules Break. ...
  8. You Try New Things.
Oct 11, 2018

How do you know if someone is interested after a first date? ›

Other signs a guy likes you include the way he looks at you, his body language, how engaged he is when you speak, if he asks questions about your life and seems genuinely interested, and if he reaches out to you after a date to tell you that he enjoyed spending time with you or that he would like to do it again.

What are red flags from a girl on a first date? ›

Other red flags include a date who is a bit too touchy and sexual right away, especially if you've made your physical and sexual boundaries clear in the beginning; someone who complains all the time during the date and is overly critical (especially of you); and someone who shows up late, doesn't inform you ahead of ...

How do you know the date went well? ›

23 Signs Your First Date Went Well
  • You Shared A Lot Of Laughs.
  • Easy Conversation.
  • Eyes Locked And Loaded.
  • The Date Went On For Longer Than Expected. ...
  • There Were No Awkward Pauses. ...
  • You Both Clicked. ...
  • They Called You After The Date.
  • You Got To Know Each Other.
Jan 31, 2023

How do you know if a girl you met is serious about you? ›

15 Signs a Relationship Is Getting Serious, According to Women
  • When being together feels like coming home. ...
  • When you feel comfortable enough to get vulnerable. ...
  • When you get a pet (or pets!) together. ...
  • When they want to meet your family. ...
  • When you just know you're spending the weekend together. ...
  • When you start wanting to stay in.
Apr 14, 2020

How females flirt body language? ›

A woman is usually flirting with you if she's mimicking your movements, leaning into your conversation, quickly blinking her eyes, or lightly touching you. ​​If she turns to look somewhere else, frowns, or tries to move away from you, then those are signs a woman isn't interested.

How do you tell a girl after the first date you're not interested? ›

"Hey, I really loved spending the night (or this date with you). I think you're an incredible person and I want to show you the respect I think you deserve and let you know that I'm not into this (or I don't think we're right for each other)." "Hey, thank you for a great night.

How do you tell if there is a spark on a date? ›

If You & Your Date Have A Spark, Experts Say You'll Notice These 5 Things
  1. The spark can feel like a body high. Giphy. ...
  2. You are urgently curious to get to know one another. Giphy. ...
  3. You and your date share plenty of eye contact. Giphy. ...
  4. You feel a rush of energy. Giphy. ...
  5. You're a little nervous and can't think straight. Giphy.
Jan 31, 2019

How many dates should you wait to feel chemistry? ›

Three dates is a good rule of thumb.

This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.

What is a first date ick? ›

Urban Dictionary defines it as when “you THINK you like them but then you suddenly catch 'The Ick'. From then on you can't look at the person in the same way, you just progressively get more and more turned off by them, weirdly & maybe for no reason in particular grossed out by them.”

What are signs that a guy is a red flag on the first date? ›

They don't respect your boundaries.

You say that you don't want to have another drink and they order one for you anyway. You say you need to head back home because you have an early day tomorrow and they try to convince you to stay longer. They try to kiss you and you express that you're not comfortable with that.

How do you know if a girl likes you romantically? ›

8 Signs That she likes you Romantically
  • She smiles often. Notice the way she smiles. ...
  • She has told her best friend about you. A woman usually shares everything with their best friends. ...
  • The teasing game. ...
  • She shows interest. ...
  • Read her eyes. ...
  • You own her undivided attention. ...
  • She asks. ...
  • She puts efforts.
Sep 5, 2019

What is the 3 day rule after first date? ›

Popularized by the romcom, the three-day dating rule insists that a person wait three full days before contacting a potential suitor. A first-day text or call is too eager, a second-day contact seems planned, but three days is, somehow, the perfect amount of time.

What is the 3 month rule? ›

What the post-breakup 3-month rule basically means is that all parties previously linked must wait three months before dating again. The reason for this societal dictation is to give the people involved a breather, some lead time, maybe a little room for forgiveness.

How do you know if a girl is nervous on first date? ›

Some signals of body tension include raised shoulders, clenched fists, locked knees, and a stiff jaw.
  1. They're constantly fidgeting. ...
  2. They appear to have a nervous “tic.” ...
  3. They're preening. ...
  4. They've gone to the bathroom a zillion times. ...
  5. Their body windows are closed off. ...
  6. They keep touching their face.
Oct 5, 2020

What are girls looking for on first date? ›

According to the results, the number one thing women want on a first date is to feel comfortable. 79% said this was their priority, followed by 35% wanting to be happy, and 27% wanting to be liked.

What does a successful first date look like? ›

While physical attraction isn't the most important indicator, it's up there. If you can't stop making eye contact, if you're both taking any excuse to casually touch each other – hands on knees or arms, arms brushing lightly when walking past – that's another one of the signs of a good first date.

How many dates until you know its serious? ›

According to a 2015 dating survey conducted by Time out of 11,000 people worldwide, most couples go on 5 to 6 dates before discussing a relationship, and some take even longer. On average, people need 5-6 dates to make it official.

Who should text first after a date? ›

A slight rift emerges in the crucial issue of who should text first after a date: Men are a little more likely to say the woman should text first, while women are more likely to say the man should text first. But the majority of men and women surveyed are in agreement: It doesn't matter who texts first.

How do you tell she is testing you? ›

10 Signs She Is Testing You To Decide If You Are Right for Her
  • She Asks You About Your Future Goals. ...
  • She Wants To Know About Your Past. ...
  • She Asks You Dealbreakers. ...
  • She Checks Your Manners. ...
  • She Wants To Know More About Your Family And Friends. ...
  • She Will Introduce You To Her Friends. ...
  • She Asks You To Help Her With Something.
Jan 31, 2023

How do you tell if she likes you or just wants a fling? ›

17 Subtle Signs Your Relationship Is Just a Fling
  1. They avoid eye contact. ...
  2. You're never alone with each other. ...
  3. Their phone is always out. ...
  4. Their contact with you is inconsistent. ...
  5. You never go out on actual dates. ...
  6. You have a hard time getting them to make plans. ...
  7. The dates they plan lack creativity.
Dec 25, 2019

What does serious dating look like? ›

In the most basic sense, a serious relationship is one in which you're completely committed to your partner; you're totally open and honest with one another; you trust each other deeply; and you're on the same page, not only in terms of your values and ethics but about your future together as well.

How do you know if she wants a second date? ›

7 Subtle Signs She Wants A Second Date
  • She keeps smiling like a crazy person. ...
  • She has positive body language. ...
  • She looks at you with attentiveness and focus. ...
  • She reveals personal things about her life. ...
  • She talks about future plans or what she's up to. ...
  • She mentions something about her favorite place(s).
Jun 20, 2016

What are normal feelings after a first date? ›

Date nerves can make a date feel a little tense, awkward, or just uncomfortable, even if you really like the person you're with. That is completely normal and expected.

Are you supposed to kiss a girl after the first date? ›

When it comes to kissing on a first date, it's important to remember that it's totally your decision. As no two first dates are alike, it's up to you to decide whether you'd like to kiss this person or not. And in most cases, this simply happens in the moment.

Who should text after first date? ›

A slight rift emerges in the crucial issue of who should text first after a date: Men are a little more likely to say the woman should text first, while women are more likely to say the man should text first. But the majority of men and women surveyed are in agreement: It doesn't matter who texts first.

How do you know she's not interested? ›

Here are 8 tell-tale signs that she's just not into you:
  • One-Word Answers. ...
  • Indecisiveness. ...
  • Flakiness. ...
  • She stands you up. ...
  • She never texts or reaches out first. ...
  • She isn't honest with you/She tells silly lies. ...
  • She avoids making plans with you. ...
  • She responds and calls only when it's convenient for her.
Feb 28, 2020

How do you not get rejected after a first date? ›

Here are 4 ways to reframe rejection into something positive and efficiently combat your ruminating thoughts.
  1. The Other Person Already Made The Right Decision For You. ...
  2. It Can Mirror What Areas In Yourself Need Work. ...
  3. You Save Time And Effort. ...
  4. Rejection Means Redirection.
Mar 15, 2021


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